Monthly Archives: December 2011

Still in San Juan Del Sur.

You’ve got to laugh to keep yourself from crying haven’t you? I sit staring at the FedEx parcel on my bed.  The empty FedEx parcel on my bed.  Which should contain my debit card.  And it doesn’t.  Why doesn’t it?  It’s a simple thing really.  Put something in an envelope, put it in a post …

I awake to find my fist feels like I’ve punched somebody in the face.  Oh wait…I did.  as shabby as I am, and feeling like a freshly shat shit, I still manage to pour myself out of bed, regale friends with my tale of woe, and squint my way to the opticians. Thinking back to …

There comes a time in everyones life where you quite reasonably and understandably say to yourself; ‘I’ve had enough.’  When things couldn’t get any worse, along comes that giant seagull to evacuate its bowels over your head from 30ft. And then steals all your stuff, pecks your eyes out and rapes you with its rabid …

No card.  Although it’s only been a day, I’m starting to not feel confident.  Consequently I display this by sleeping a very long time. That’s it. Oh I had a nice Pizza.

I long to get out of San Juan Del Sur; purely for the good of my health and sanity.  I feel like a tattoo artist at a Sunday School.  My card was due in today, and typically as luck would have it, it hasn’t arrived.  I’m left to languish in my hostel and cry over …

“Oh my god I have nowhere to stay tonight; I missed my shuttle back to the hostel”. “Well this guy (indicating me) has a private room, I’m sure you could stay with him”. This conversation existed less than ten minutes ago.  The exchange took place with one girl in front of a load of guys.  …

It has come to my attention that I am not an extreme sports guy.  I have had a golden opportunity here to try surfing, zip lining, scuba diving, volcano boarding, etcetera, etcetera.  Now either I’m genuinely non plussed about such activities, or I have to come to terms with the fact I am indeed big …

Ok so something isn’t right.  I think I should lay off the pork burritos.  I was never going to pull any punches in writing this journal, but there are some things best left unsaid.  Especially when you smell like someone has crawled up your arse and died.  Hey now; we’ve all been there, so don’t …

So December 1st was yesterday.  I guess I totally missed it, because I’ve been walking around in shorts.  I hate wearing shorts at the best of times.  So would you if you had skinny little white chicken legs.  I don’t have any facial hair, tiny legs and female wrists.  This is all because I shared …