Hiding in my room, mortified for all the models to see me in my horrendous hunchback of notre damn disguise, I don’t venture out until everyone leaves, and I’m at liberty to visit the bathroom at leisure. What I failed to mention yesternight, is that I appear to be on the receiving end of Paddy’s …
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Starry, starry night
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Chilean models
We left it a bit late last night to hit the town, and found out to our dismay that the few bars available close at 1.30, allowing no punters access after that. Following this, if you’re lucky enough to get invited, you take a cab out under the stars for numerous ‘desert parties’ that kick …
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Warmth at last
With relief the bags arrive on what is exactly the same vehicle and we’re underway on time. I have no idea how he’s managed it, convinced the exact same thing is going to happen a few miles down the road. Nonetheless it isn’t too long before we’ve reached the Chilean border, and I’ve got a …
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Fighting old women and crap cars
It is unbelievably cold in our hostel room. I have no idea why icicles are not hanging from my nostrils when I wake, and my eyes have not frozen shut with the sub zero temperatures. It is actually warmer outside, and I’m wearing all of the stinking clothes from last nights session. I’ve discovered Paddy …
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The Salt Flats
Waking up a combination of cold, tired, hungover and pissed off is never a good thing, but I find I am once again in the back of a jeep with the sun barely up. I console myself with the thought that this is the last time I need to pander to someone else’s time frame, …
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German and Irish
You know the drill by now. Up when it’s still dark, no shower, still wearing the same clothes we’ve had on for the past three days. Although light hasn’t found it’s way over the hills, I’m hiding my eyes with sunglasses due to the obvious bleariness of them, stoatering around like a blind man in …
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Not my scene
It’s a bitter cold morning as I pour out of bed fully clothed and into an icy Land Cruiser. I’m barely awake for Spanish invasion ruins and early view points, and I’m wondering why I’m putting myself through this horribleness. We’re not going to shower for three days, and it gets sub zero at night. …
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Salt Flats day 1
Wedged into the back of a Toyota land cruiser with two American girls, Paddy, a guide and a cook, we’re underway, beginning a four day journey that will culminate in the stunningly mesmerising Salar De Uyuni. Between Tupiza and the worlds largest Salt Flat, we will see vast volcanic landscapes, geysers, hot springs, lagoons, indigenous villages, ruins, flamingo’s, ostriches, wild donkeys, and …
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Bolivian wild west
The gurgling stomach I can hear across the room ensures that Paddy is in no fit state to join me on the horse trek. Unfortunately for him my group is then changed so I’m joining four girls. Apparently he wants me to flirt with them on his behalf. He’s got enough to worry about with …
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Dodgy arse
I’ve woken to find Paddy making a mess of the bathroom. We’ve missed the chance to get on any trek today, so I’ve ordered him to go to the doctors. He’s not been right for months, probably at least since I’ve known him. It’s an interesting and eye opening experience attempting to find medical help …
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