While trying to find a clean T-shirt and rummaging around in my bag, it suddenly dawned on me I’ve had my best three tops stolen. “All my best T’s go missing all the time” I’m nonchalantly informed by a friend. One of these was a vintage Hendrix one, the kind that people always gave me compliments on. To say I’m raging would be an understatement. Aparantly a lot of thieves go traveling.
So I thought I’d pen a word or two about theft, get on my high horse and have a good whinge. At the time of writing, and since September when I left home, the following items have been removed from my possession:
Prescription FCUK glasses from my face
Panasonic Lumix TZ8
My wallet, cards, cash and drivers license
One vintage Hendrix T
One Topman T
One Primark (but still very good) T
A large bag of mixed currency (Approx $10)
Hair straighteners
My pride
I have given away:
Old converse shoes to a street kid
A sweater and two t-shirts to the homeless
A stack of currency from Costa Rica
Possibly in the region of 7 Bic lighters
Undisclosed and/or unknown amount of money to beggars
Four boxes of leftover Chinese take away to the hungry
My heart ( Not strictly true; I was embellishing for comic and dramatic effect).
I have gained:
A tatty copy of the 2007 edition of the Lonely Planet
Ipod earphones with the left ear smashed
A developing love handle/booze baby
A T-shirt sun tan
A lot of wonderful friends and incredible memories and experiences
Perhaps the last one makes everything else worth it. If this is what’s happened in 6 months, imagine what will happen over the next two years. So long as I make it out alive I’ll be a happy man.
Now whether or not it was the sense of right and wrong instilled in me by my dad, or that both him and mum were Police, or that they went on to own a successful security firm reveared the world over; but I really have a strong dislike for thieves. I have chased and caught shoplifters on two occasions, coming back with the goods to a round of applause and looking like a hero in front of admiring shoppers and my then girlfriend. I received a £20 BHS voucher and a wild sex session for my trouble. Taking something that doesn’t belong to you really gets my goat. My major concern with this is I honestly think I’d have a problem handing over my stuff at gun point. I’m a little terrified I’d try to call their bluff, or pull off that move I saw Jet Lee do in Lethal Weapon 4. I’m going to learn it from a Youtube video.
Of course I wouldn’t be that stupid. But if I catch you with your hands in my wash bag then there’ll be hell to pay. Unless you’re after a condom. I have no use for those. Feel free.
Stealing
While trying to find a clean T-shirt and rummaging around in my bag, it suddenly dawned on me I’ve had my best three tops stolen. “All my best T’s go missing all the time” I’m nonchalantly informed by a friend. One of these was a vintage Hendrix one, the kind that people always gave me compliments on. To say I’m raging would be an understatement. Aparantly a lot of thieves go traveling.
So I thought I’d pen a word or two about theft, get on my high horse and have a good whinge. At the time of writing, and since September when I left home, the following items have been removed from my possession:
Prescription FCUK glasses from my face
Panasonic Lumix TZ8
My wallet, cards, cash and drivers license
One vintage Hendrix T
One Topman T
One Primark (but still very good) T
A large bag of mixed currency (Approx $10)
Hair straighteners
My pride
I have given away:
Old converse shoes to a street kid
A sweater and two t-shirts to the homeless
A stack of currency from Costa Rica
Possibly in the region of 7 Bic lighters
Undisclosed and/or unknown amount of money to beggars
Four boxes of leftover Chinese take away to the hungry
My heart ( Not strictly true; I was embellishing for comic and dramatic effect).
I have gained:
A tatty copy of the 2007 edition of the Lonely Planet
Ipod earphones with the left ear smashed
A developing love handle/booze baby
A T-shirt sun tan
A lot of wonderful friends and incredible memories and experiences
Perhaps the last one makes everything else worth it. If this is what’s happened in 6 months, imagine what will happen over the next two years. So long as I make it out alive I’ll be a happy man.
Now whether or not it was the sense of right and wrong instilled in me by my dad, or that both him and mum were Police, or that they went on to own a successful security firm reveared the world over; but I really have a strong dislike for thieves. I have chased and caught shoplifters on two occasions, coming back with the goods to a round of applause and looking like a hero in front of admiring shoppers and my then girlfriend. I received a £20 BHS voucher and a wild sex session for my trouble. Taking something that doesn’t belong to you really gets my goat. My major concern with this is I honestly think I’d have a problem handing over my stuff at gun point. I’m a little terrified I’d try to call their bluff, or pull off that move I saw Jet Lee do in Lethal Weapon 4. I’m going to learn it from a Youtube video.
Of course I wouldn’t be that stupid. But if I catch you with your hands in my wash bag then there’ll be hell to pay. Unless you’re after a condom. I have no use for those. Feel free.