I’ve been woken up by an Albanian man mumbling something as he taps the side of the van. The rattle of cow bells cements the fact that I’m not getting back to sleep. I throw open the sliding door to be greeted by some strange sights. An old man flicks away flies from his face …
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Albanian death road
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Kavos, Corfu: Welcome to hell.
As far as going off course actually goes, I’ve gone. I’ve arrived in little England, and it’s a total shit-hole. A playground for chavs and stupid British teenagers which needs to be bombed off the map. Nay, not bombed; Napalmed. These nob heads need to burn before they can breed. I can’t move for singlet …
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Pink.
So I’m standing in a pink circle dressed in a pink toga watching two Greek guys do something I can only presume is a traditional dance. Which is probably pink. Then everyone drinks a shit load of pink Ouzo from an industrial size cooking pot, before plates are smashed over your head by a guy …
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HEDONISM AND DEBAUCHERY!
I’m sat in a place called The Pink Palace, in Corfu. Corfu I hear you balk? Yes dear readers I am well aware just how far out of my hitchhike to India I am. I’m sat recovering from a two day fever (apparently called Corflu), nursing mossie bites the size of golf balls on my …
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Hooligan quiz
What do you get when you cross an amateur football team of English drunks, three French girls, a Kiwi and one hot feisty lesbian? A pub quiz of epic carnage and one crazy night. I’ve been tasked with putting together some trivia for the evening’s entertainment. I’m slightly disappointed in this, as I regard myself …
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Zadar and 30 man bar brawls
Zadar is stunning. Watching the sun go down across the bay and you know that ol’ hitch was right. Gloriously lazy skies awash with the brush-srokes of a master painter. Sun-kissed narrow old town streets with historic charm and intrigue. Wonderful sea-food restaurants, and of course the finest hostel I’ve ever stayed in. Oh and the …
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The Wild Fig Hostel
Right people listen up. Get your butts to Zadar. Live at the Wild Fig Hostel. Make tons of new mates and stay up every night until the sunrise and then throw yourselves into the Adriatic sea three sheets to the wind, slicing your hands on rocks. I promise all kinds of fun and debauchery. Not …
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Zagreb to Zadar
Alfred Hitchcock famously waxed lyrical about the stunning sunsets in Zadar on a visit there in 1967. I think. They’re very proud of this fact, and if it’s good enough for Hitch it’s good enough for me. I’ve not taken one photograph in Zagreb, and a glance at the weather for the week ahead confirms …
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A heartfelt apology to the rest of the world from a former resident of the UK
World. I’m sorry. I’m genuinely sorry for the knuckle dragging neanderthals that infest your beautiful countries and destroy whole city centres in running battles of drunken carnage stag nights. From the UK. And Ireland. Every corner is represented. And by every corner I specifically mean English. English animals. Brits abroad. We watched in utter disbelief …
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Lip of hell in Zagreb summer sex Olympics
Hello there dear reader(s). It’s all been a bit good recently hasn’t it? Healthy activities, busking in sunny streets, very little hedonism and debauchery. I’ve set up my youtube account to document hitchhike videos, and the ball is well and truly rolling when it comes to the charity page. YOU just need to check it out now; see the …
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