NHL ’94 on the Super Nintendo. Those were the days. The only reason I actually managed to learn the rules of American sports was through playing computer games. Madden ’95 I think was the other one, but American ‘football’ is crap, so I didn’t have that for long. I’ve always had a passing interest in ice hockey on the other hand, and for a short time watched the Toronto Maple Leafs because a distant relative sent me a puck in the post. That and you’re allowed to smash people into the wall and beat the crap out of someone you have an issue with, all this while whacking a deadly rock hard bit of rubber around a slippy surface, flying at breakneck speeds. What’s not to like?
I can’t skate for toffee. I’ve tried, I’ve failed. My feet were not meant to be put on wheels, or blades, or moving things of any kind. I have the coordination and balance of a pissed up tramp. Not good for the self-esteem and ego while attempting to impress the girls down the outdoor ice rink at Christmas time. There’s always one absolute tosser too, usually dressed in black, who speed skates ice into your face as you waddle and crawl pathetically close to the handrail. I’d rather stay warm, drink mulled wine and keep my coccyx intact.
Of course these lads can put you to shame on the ice. It’s such an impressive game to watch, really skillful and entertaining. The refs are pretty quick off the mark to nip any fights in the bud, which is a bit of a shame, but even though this is just a pre-season friendly they’re going right at it. One guy actually gets lifted into the air and thrown over the back of his opponent. Bodies are everywhere. The puck flicks up high and smashes into the sideboards close to where we’re sat. You certainly wouldn’t want that coming at your face. Great to watch, terrifying to play. Not too disimilar to cricket, which is terrifying to play and atrocious to watch. Unless you’re using a tennis ball. I’m alright with that. I’m not going to die standing in silly mid whatever.
Ice hockey
NHL ’94 on the Super Nintendo. Those were the days. The only reason I actually managed to learn the rules of American sports was through playing computer games. Madden ’95 I think was the other one, but American ‘football’ is crap, so I didn’t have that for long. I’ve always had a passing interest in ice hockey on the other hand, and for a short time watched the Toronto Maple Leafs because a distant relative sent me a puck in the post. That and you’re allowed to smash people into the wall and beat the crap out of someone you have an issue with, all this while whacking a deadly rock hard bit of rubber around a slippy surface, flying at breakneck speeds. What’s not to like?
I can’t skate for toffee. I’ve tried, I’ve failed. My feet were not meant to be put on wheels, or blades, or moving things of any kind. I have the coordination and balance of a pissed up tramp. Not good for the self-esteem and ego while attempting to impress the girls down the outdoor ice rink at Christmas time. There’s always one absolute tosser too, usually dressed in black, who speed skates ice into your face as you waddle and crawl pathetically close to the handrail. I’d rather stay warm, drink mulled wine and keep my coccyx intact.
Of course these lads can put you to shame on the ice. It’s such an impressive game to watch, really skillful and entertaining. The refs are pretty quick off the mark to nip any fights in the bud, which is a bit of a shame, but even though this is just a pre-season friendly they’re going right at it. One guy actually gets lifted into the air and thrown over the back of his opponent. Bodies are everywhere. The puck flicks up high and smashes into the sideboards close to where we’re sat. You certainly wouldn’t want that coming at your face. Great to watch, terrifying to play. Not too disimilar to cricket, which is terrifying to play and atrocious to watch. Unless you’re using a tennis ball. I’m alright with that. I’m not going to die standing in silly mid whatever.