I’m sat in a travelers bar and for some reason I’m talking to two gorgeous women wearing little red dresses with devil horns on. I mean I’m talking the holy grail of threesomes if someone were to pull it off. After some seriously heavy flirting they’ve invited me to a big party in a club somewhere, so it’s really a no brainer. I’ve stumped up cash for a taxi and entry, then I discover a vodka lemonade is coming in at ten Euros. “Alright” I shirk to myself, “I’ll pay for just this one, and get fired in early to these girls.” “Oh sorry I’ve got a boyfriend.” She giggles. I actually think a look of disgust must have crossed my face. A taxi later and I’m back at the first joint.
Beautiful brunette with perfect suggestive English takes my fancy. I buys drinks. I buy lots of drinks. We chat. We dance. It’s all very wink wink, nudge nudge. I do the inevitable and ask her out alone. “Maybe” comes the cheeky playful response. More drinks. Then the ‘actions speak louder than words’ moment arises. “Errr, I’m kinda seeing one of the bar staff.” Two seconds later I’m out in the snow on the walk home.
Am I missing something? Are girls still getting off on leading a guy on the whole night only to play the boyfriend card? Do they actually have boyfriends or is it a ruse? They’ve got what they want and they need an out. Why is this happening? Am I being naive? It’s also the fact that they take me out of the game for the whole night when I could have been speaking to someone single and interested. I know I’m no angel, and guys in general make a bad name for themselves, but this simply isn’t fair. I have therefore developed the following questions to ask the next girl I speak to:
1. Do you have a boyfriend/partner/husband/are you seeing someone/open relationship/lesbian/a-sexual/transvestite/all of the above?
2. Are you a Gemini?
3. Are you parents still together?
If the answer is yes to the first two, or no to the last one, then I’m out of there quicker than you can say crying wank.
Mug
I’m sat in a travelers bar and for some reason I’m talking to two gorgeous women wearing little red dresses with devil horns on. I mean I’m talking the holy grail of threesomes if someone were to pull it off. After some seriously heavy flirting they’ve invited me to a big party in a club somewhere, so it’s really a no brainer. I’ve stumped up cash for a taxi and entry, then I discover a vodka lemonade is coming in at ten Euros. “Alright” I shirk to myself, “I’ll pay for just this one, and get fired in early to these girls.” “Oh sorry I’ve got a boyfriend.” She giggles. I actually think a look of disgust must have crossed my face. A taxi later and I’m back at the first joint.
Beautiful brunette with perfect suggestive English takes my fancy. I buys drinks. I buy lots of drinks. We chat. We dance. It’s all very wink wink, nudge nudge. I do the inevitable and ask her out alone. “Maybe” comes the cheeky playful response. More drinks. Then the ‘actions speak louder than words’ moment arises. “Errr, I’m kinda seeing one of the bar staff.” Two seconds later I’m out in the snow on the walk home.
Am I missing something? Are girls still getting off on leading a guy on the whole night only to play the boyfriend card? Do they actually have boyfriends or is it a ruse? They’ve got what they want and they need an out. Why is this happening? Am I being naive? It’s also the fact that they take me out of the game for the whole night when I could have been speaking to someone single and interested. I know I’m no angel, and guys in general make a bad name for themselves, but this simply isn’t fair. I have therefore developed the following questions to ask the next girl I speak to:
1. Do you have a boyfriend/partner/husband/are you seeing someone/open relationship/lesbian/a-sexual/transvestite/all of the above?
2. Are you a Gemini?
3. Are you parents still together?
If the answer is yes to the first two, or no to the last one, then I’m out of there quicker than you can say crying wank.