Right people listen up. Get your butts to Zadar. Live at the Wild Fig Hostel. Make tons of new mates and stay up every night until the sunrise and then throw yourselves into the Adriatic sea three sheets to the wind, slicing your hands on rocks. I promise all kinds of fun and debauchery. Not with me. I’m going through a patch so dry you could use my penis as sandpaper. It’s not through lack of trying either, whipping out the guitar, impressing with magic tricks, telling hitch stories. You can’t make this up how unlucky I’ve been. Girls with boyfriends, girls recently out of relationships but want nothing to do with me, immature girls, man-hunk New Zealand handy-man dudes with solid game, unobtainable girls waiting for ‘the one’ to arrive, girls who don’t get with strangers; and; lesbians. Hot lesbians who are even worse than a room full of dicks. You can’t have them, and they’ll cock-block you with the gorgeous chick who wants a girl encounter because she’s on holiday. The only thing I’ve managed is a sympathy snog at three am over a pan of bacon. She liked bacon.
Joking aside, I am having the time of my life. I never write reviews for anything, but I felt I had to with this place. There is something special here. You arrive as a stranger, you leave as a friend. If I ever leave. I’m now staying way beyond my original plans, as I have a bed for free and I’m helping to paint the new hostel dorm room. Everyday there is something different. By different I mean knocking back 4 bottles of red in the garden as the sun comes up, talking utter nonsense with some of the best people I’ve met on the road. This hostel is unique. It’s not about the showers, the building, the beds. It just seems to attract the finest of folk. Now I just need it to attract a single one with massive boobs.
I may be here for some time dearest readers, so I suggest you come and do the same. I’ve been allowed to write the blurb for the hostel booking websites, and uploaded only my second trip-advisor review. Have a gander if you’re interested when they go live. It’s wonderful to know that no matter what crap life throws at you, you can find family just around the corner.
The Wild Fig Hostel
Right people listen up. Get your butts to Zadar. Live at the Wild Fig Hostel. Make tons of new mates and stay up every night until the sunrise and then throw yourselves into the Adriatic sea three sheets to the wind, slicing your hands on rocks. I promise all kinds of fun and debauchery. Not with me. I’m going through a patch so dry you could use my penis as sandpaper. It’s not through lack of trying either, whipping out the guitar, impressing with magic tricks, telling hitch stories. You can’t make this up how unlucky I’ve been. Girls with boyfriends, girls recently out of relationships but want nothing to do with me, immature girls, man-hunk New Zealand handy-man dudes with solid game, unobtainable girls waiting for ‘the one’ to arrive, girls who don’t get with strangers; and; lesbians. Hot lesbians who are even worse than a room full of dicks. You can’t have them, and they’ll cock-block you with the gorgeous chick who wants a girl encounter because she’s on holiday. The only thing I’ve managed is a sympathy snog at three am over a pan of bacon. She liked bacon.
Joking aside, I am having the time of my life. I never write reviews for anything, but I felt I had to with this place. There is something special here. You arrive as a stranger, you leave as a friend. If I ever leave. I’m now staying way beyond my original plans, as I have a bed for free and I’m helping to paint the new hostel dorm room. Everyday there is something different. By different I mean knocking back 4 bottles of red in the garden as the sun comes up, talking utter nonsense with some of the best people I’ve met on the road. This hostel is unique. It’s not about the showers, the building, the beds. It just seems to attract the finest of folk. Now I just need it to attract a single one with massive boobs.
I may be here for some time dearest readers, so I suggest you come and do the same. I’ve been allowed to write the blurb for the hostel booking websites, and uploaded only my second trip-advisor review. Have a gander if you’re interested when they go live. It’s wonderful to know that no matter what crap life throws at you, you can find family just around the corner.
The Wild Fig is family.